Last week, the Rev. Jesse Jackson, a well-known political figure who first got his start in the public eye by working with the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and later ran for the Presidency of the United States of America, passed after a long health battle.

I am fortunate that there are only a few instances I can look back on my life, and especially my career, and feel regret over something. One such instance was how I handled issues related to race during my time in elected office. Rev. Jackson’s death sparked such a memory.

I met Rev. Jackson twice. The first was when he was in Oklahoma City promoting storm shelters for schools thanks to my good friend, attorney David Slane. The second time, we dined at a local restaurant, along with former state Sen. Connie Johnson. I was fascinated to hear them converse about their experiences with fairness and equality, and while much had been overcome, there was still much to resolve.

I grew up in a small town and there were not many folks who looked too different from me, a white kid. Occasionally, a minority family moved to town, but they often did not stay. They were not run out of town as might have happened in the past in some communities, but they certainly did not fully engage, likely due to racial barriers.

In college, I had the opportunity to have a roommate who was Black and another who was Indonesian; I never at any point felt we were in any way different. For that, I thank my mother and other influences in my life who ensured that I did not hold views that people were in any way different because of skin color.

We live in a changing world, and I do feel that the issue of race is being broken down with each generation, but there are obviously still problems. Part of this comes from those who are overtly racist without care, some from those who do not realize they are being offensive simply out of ignorance, and others who judge rather than attempt to grow beyond that prejudice.

Mind you, I am not saying we should not condemn racism; we should, wholeheartedly. The fact remains the practice of solely judging an individual based on their skin color rather than the content of their character exists in our world. It is only through education, empathy and understanding that this destructive bias will be overcome.

I had my photo taken with Rev. Jackson, but I did not get a copy – intentionally. The reason was out of my fear that a photo of me with such a polarizing figure would hurt me in my election efforts. Politicians are risk averse, and I was conditioned into this due to an earlier incident where a person told me, point-blank, that they had looked for a photo of me with former President Barack Obama to run with editorials attacking my views. There was only one reason for that: to alienate people who would have viewed such a photo of us together as a negative and which would have encouraged them to vote against me due to that association.

I am not only ashamed of myself for avoiding those photo opportunities, but also that I did not use that platform to influence conversations over division. Now, I realize that I should have proudly displayed that photo and used it to break down those barriers.

Today, I have moved beyond my fear of what people think regarding disagreements with me on matters of race. I instead try to influence them to a different outlook, and I appreciate David, Rev. Jackson and all those who helped me understand the barriers faced by so many. Thank you to those who gave me grace as I have aged into what I believe is a better person. It would be easy to condemn me, but that dialogue helped me grow.

I hope that you will take these thoughts with you and do better than I did back then.

The Oklahoma Institute for Child Advocacy was established in 1983 by a group of citizens seeking to create a strong advocacy network that would provide a voice for the needs of children and youth in Oklahoma, particularly those in the state’s care and those growing up amid poverty, violence, abuse and neglect, disparities or other situations that put their lives and future at risk. The OICA’s mission statement is: “Creating awareness, taking action and changing policy to improve the health, safety and well-being of Oklahoma’s children.”