Most adults who have lived very long know that a strong storm – with its heavy clouds, pelting hail or blinding snow, driving winds or flooding rain can bring on certain fear and anxiety. Not to mention downright physical and financial problems when actual disaster strikes.

Living in the Midwest most of my life, I certainly understand and agree with them. I’ve seen enough damage and heartache from storms to know what the aftermath can be to those who have been victims. Vicious storms, no matter where you live, are nothing to ignore or laugh about. They can cause families to lose everything they have worked for in a very short span of time.

For the outside storms, there is hopefully an insurance policy that can provide some financial aid to the victim, to help them recover and get back on their feet. Hopefully. And usually, good and kind neighbors also step in to provide help during those periods. The victimized family suffers through the financial setback for a few years, but given enough time, they keep working and fight their way back to some semblance of normalcy.

But there is another storm that happens when these storms come. A disastrous storm-outside-situation can also bring about a storm-inside-situation. Depression, self-pity, and anger that colors the victim’s outlook on their future. Traumatizing emotional upheaval that damages hope and can leave relationships shredded and in tatters. Those inside storms can take their toll for a tremendously long time.

But there is an outside-inside-storm that is even worse. A worst-case scenario.

With a worst-case scenario, an outside storm hits and the family loses a loved one, while at the same time suffering enormous financial loss. For this kind of storm, there may be insurance to provide a measure of help for the physical loss, but there is no insurance policy for the inside storm.

Nothing turns back the clock for the grieving family. There is nothing that kind and loving neighbors can do to soothe and make it all go away. No understanding counselor alive can listen enough to remove their pain, and there are no pastors who can pray and quote enough biblical passages to change their outlook.

So, what happens? How do they manage to go on? Time. Loving family members. Compassionate neighbors. Faithful pastors. God providing His healing as time marches on. And their own determination. Their own determination to survive the excruciating pain and keep on living.

Outside storms can be horrible and life changing for a while. But the inside storms – those are the ones that change us for the rest of our lives. We either get bitter, or we allow the storm to make us better.

Bitterness guarantees that the storm wins – for as along as the victim lives. Betterness guarantees the person wins. An incredibly painful, long-fought victory that results in a person who can feel and understand the pain of others. Who is uniquely equipped to help when disaster strikes someone else.

Difficult choice, but ultimately our choice. — Podcasts are available at Coffeetimecolumn.com. Send any responses to andybowman839@gmail.com.