DEAR ABBY: My husband works with a group of men who often become vulgar in their conversations. My husband was raised to have respect and dignity, so he is uncomfortable with it.

The men discuss their wives and girlfriends in explicit detail. Some of them have daughters. It is just insane! Would they want someone talking about their daughters like that?!

My husband tries to ignore it or change the subject. Although he gets stressed about it, he can't go to the boss because his boss chimes in. The boss once said, "Oh, it's just men talking." My husband finds the whole thing disrespectful. He could go to Human Resources, but he's not sure he should. What should he do?

- UNCOMFORTABLE

IN WYOMING

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Your husband should not have to be subjected to conversations in the workplace that make him uncomfortable.

He should have spoken up when it first happened. And he should still make his feelings known and bow out of these interactions.

If HR in that company is strong enough to institute some rules that will be respected, he should alert someone there to the uncomfortable work environment in his department.

DEAR ABBY: My widowed mother-in-law, "Minnie," works full time as a trucker, traveling around the U.S. She doesn't have a home of her own since she lives on the road. My husband and I live in a small one-bedroom apartment. When she's here for holidays or family functions, she always sleeps on our couch.

At first I didn't mind once or twice for holidays, but since my niece was born, Minnie wants to be home more to visit with her. My husband's brother has a large home and plenty of space, but Minnie never stays there because she doesn't like my sister-in-law. Minnie is also irresponsible about letting us know when she's coming and how long she will be staying. One night can turn into a week.

I have had many conversations and some blowout fights with my husband over this issue. He's the older brother and feels guilty about asking her to stay at a hotel. My sister-in-law doesn't help the situation. She sabotages holidays and events to ensure Minnie won't feel comfortable staying there. I don't know how I will manage to get through the holidays this year. Help!

- DREADING IT

IN THE EAST

DEAR DREADING: Blowout fights with your husband are detrimental to your marriage.

Because he appears to be unable to summon the backbone to have an honest conversation with his mother, I guess it's up to you.

Explain to Minnie that the current arrangement isn't working.

Tell her twice-a-year visits for holidays and family functions were manageable, but in the future, if she's unwilling to stay in her younger son's home, she should arrange to stay at a hotel or motel for those "extra" visits.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman in my 30s with a good head on my shoulders, but I have a dilemma. I recently became Wiccan, and I'm hiding my new religion from my fiance.

I was raised Protestant but have drifted away from Christianity. My fiance was raised Catholic but

no longer practices. He's not actively involved in any religion, but I'm worried about how he will react to learning that I'm now a "witch," which is just a broad term for anyone who follows the Wiccan spiritual path.

I don't want him to think I've lost my mind, but I also can't keep hiding my beliefs from him. Secrets are never a positive thing in a relationship, but I'm worried about how this news will be received. Please help.

- WEST VIRGINIA

WICCAN

DEAR WICCAN: I agree this isn't a secret you should keep.

If it were me, I would start disclosing the information slowly, sharing Wiccan literature, telling him I found it fascinating, and sharing a few of the principles with him.

Refrain from hitting him over the head with an announcement of your conversion and it will be less shocking.