I slapped my hand to my face when I saw the news story that dealt with an incident of a child and internet safety this past weekend. For those of you just joining us, last week I talked about the importance of monitoring any electronic device that you child has for inappropriate communication. We also briefly discussed how some apps are made to have icons that look like calculator apps, and other harmless normal phone functions.

Today I want to discuss who has access to your child. Most of us are very much aware of who is safe and unsafe to be around our children. We go to great measures to protect our kids and would never dream of letting a child predator or bully inside our home. Unfortunately, there are parents everywhere who don’t realize it is happening when electronic devices go unchecked. I want you to think back to our childhoods. In our childhoods, if someone wanted to bully you, they actually had to put out effort. They had to learn your class schedule, personally seek you out in a parking lot, go and buy the eggs to egg your house, take the time to write a hateful note, etc. If they wanted access to you, they had to make an effort and find you, the victim. Now, effort isn’t necessary. They hide behind computer screens, cell phones, gaming systems, and tablets, and fire off horrible verbal tirades to their victim at all hours of the night and day.

And do you want to know who is waiting in the shadows of the internet and social media platforms looking for an innocent wide-eyed child who has low self esteem? The predators. Am I being a tad dramatic? No. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the “good kids” find love interests online. Someone that they think is another kid and fully understands their problems. They start sending pictures back and forth, and eventually the relationship progresses to inappropriate pictures, and before you know it you have a manipulative adult on the other end trying to get access to your child. If you find that your child, or another child has engaged in online activity of this sort, you need to call the authorities immediately.

Bottom line, if you wouldn’t let them in your home, don’t give them access to your children through electronic devices. I know that it may put you in a difficult situation to go back on rules that you have set with your child, but when we know better, we do better. You are not punishing, you are protecting. The human brain doesn’t even finish fully developing until approximately the age of 25. Expecting kids to think like adults and make adult decisions without having all of the background information is asking a lot. It’s time to talk to our kids about healthy and unhealthy relationships, setting personal boundaries, and what to do if they find themselves in a dangerous predicament.

Next week we will dive into tips and tricks of parental controls and practicing internet safety.

Jennifer Avery is the Director of the non profit agency, “The Rowan Fund”, which seeks to support adoptive and foster families in Okmulgee County. She resides in Morris, OK with her husband and two children. Questions or comments? Send them to RowanFamilyTree@gmail.com.