Two great political scandals rocked my first grade class. The first arose over accusations of glue-eating leveled against Toby Dawn McIntyre. As his desk partner, I had firsthand knowledge of Toby’s sticky problem, but I was no snitch, so we manufactured the second scandal to shift attention. The snooty new girl and her 96-count box of Crayola Crayons with a built-in sharpener was an easy target, so we added two unwanted colors to her collection - red herring and white privilege - but Nicolette expertly flipped the script by sharing her sharpener and crayons with everyone except Toby and me. Public sentiment quickly shifted as our artwork suffered. Our little house of flash cards folded, and Toby’s ugly Elmer’s addiction was exposed.
Columns & Opinion
October 25, 2023